I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
