You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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