Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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