Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
