i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
