so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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