apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
