I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize