whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
