i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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