just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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