We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
