omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
