Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
