I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
