I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
