I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
