My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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