Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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