I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
