wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
