He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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