he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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