I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
