So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize