haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
