so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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