Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize