i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
