I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
