I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
