I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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