Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Slut skills are useful in every country.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
