I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
