Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
