So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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