If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
