Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
