Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
