He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize