Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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