maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
