You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
