So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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