dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
