Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
