well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
