Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
