His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
jump out the window naked night went bad
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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