no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
