i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
