I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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