i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
