How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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