I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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