My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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