Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
