if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
