You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
