Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
