We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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