I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
