i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
